Donald Trump officially won the Republican presidential nomination earlier today. Only a few months ago I laughed when he announced his candidacy. In my mind – for obvious reasons - I was certain the head master of clown school would be in and out of the campaign faster than a high school boy in a Mexican whorehouse. There simply was no way the American Republican delegates would elect Bozo.
Today I stand corrected. I was dead wrong and i'm also no longer laughing. In fact I'm closer to tears today knowing the the shoddy deal master could one day be king. Hell.. I'm not even American and I suspect I'm not the only one up here in Canada who is in complete disbelief tonight.
I got together with my buddy last week for a couple of drinks. Not unlike other conversations taking place in bars across the world, our chat that night soon got unto the topic of the American Presidential elections. Everyone has an opinion about it lately including these Canadian idiots.
It's fun to be a loud mouth sometimes and have an opinion - as misplaced as it may be.
In the span of an hour, We determined the main problem taking place in American politics today and a sure proof way to fix it all. Alcohol has a magical way of giving mere mortals like ourselves the super powers needed to come up with big ideas. I'm sure we aren't the only ones who have discussed this big idea, but we like to think we are.
Here it is. If you really think about it the solution is pretty simple:
America... Elect Bill Gates for president.
I know what you’re thinking, especially if you’re American. Glenn, why are you thinking / talking about this?
I'm doing so as a concerned Canadian and friendly neighbor. 62% of Canadian goods and resources are exported to the United States. When America farts we breathe the Freetos filled flatulence it expels deep into our lungs. At this moment in time our friends south of the Canadian border are farting a lot lately and the stench is becoming unbearable.
To put together a solution of any kind you must first determine what the root of any problem happens to be. And what’s America’s biggest problem? With the help of some Canadian alcohol we figured it all out. The American election process itself. It lasts way too long. It costs way too much money and it leaves elected US officials (including the president of the United States who requires the most election campaign money of all) desperate to always be raising greenbacks for the next election cycle to stay in power.
In 2016, American Congressmen spend about a day each week on the phone (I say that figuratively) trying to raise campaign funds. That’s one full day every single week of the year while at work getting paid by the American tax payer. I’m pretty sure that day would be better spent fixing some real problems; Crazy concepts like education or the economy or the environment or gun control problems or...... the list is endless.
The US economic collapse of 2007 wasn’t by accident. Government banking deregulation after years of lobbying efforts (ahem – corporate donations) gave the banks the ability to start making very questionable and unethical investment decisions. These investments left the banks and United States as a whole extremely vulnerable. Who can forget the insane US bank bailouts of 2008?
The drug industry (Big Pharma) currently has over 1,400 lobbyists running around Washington DC buying up favors from the 500+ Congressmen and women in power. That's only one industry. Politicians don't have a chance and neither does the American public.
Corporate influence has won the game.
Unless a complete transformation of the election process happens soon the on going deregulation of American industry is no longer in the best interest of the American public. It’s pretty clear that a transformation is highly unlikely any time soon. The time is now for change. The Unites States requires a president (and elected officials) who aren't susceptible to corporations who lobby and pay for favors via campaign donations. It's enough.
There's a reason why fringe candidates like Bernie Sanders and Donald Trump are experiencing a huge surge in popularity this election campaign. The citizens of the United States are fed up with the current long line of corporate CEO Presidents they’ve had since Ronald Reagan was elected and want a change. Unfortunately the anger over the current state of political affairs has given rise to a freak like Donald Trump. The term freak doesn’t give the man justice. What he is selling is fear. Susceptible people buy fear by the boatloads.
Yes on paper Bernie Sanders sounds like a great guy. Spending like a mad man when your wallet full of credit cards and line of credit are all maxed out isn't in the best interest of the people either. Harvard economists seem to think the US debt of 100 zillion quadrillion bazillion can't handle any more spending. I'll take their word for it.
After a lot of discussion my buddy and I agreed that any new elected president should be a self-made man who is free of corporate influence. As we peered through multiple lists of American CEOs and Billionaires one name came back over and over. Bill Gates.
Yes. That Bill Gates you are thinking of. The man who brought you the start button and endless operating system updates. We didn't say Bill was perfect. The fact however he was able to fix the blue screen of death should make him a front runner in any political endeavor he takes on.
We had another drink and came up with the top 10 reasons (in no specific order) Bill Gates would make the ideal president of the United States.
- Proven leader
- Able to finance his own election campaign (free of corporate influence)
- Self-Made Man
- Free of Moral Pitfalls (that we are aware of)
- Humanitarian with a worldly vision
- Extensive experience dealing and negotiating with world leaders and politicians
- Forward thinker / innovator
- Not a religious zealot
We realize he lacks the years of political experience and insider knowledge most politicians build over years of being in power. The kind of connections that are required to get bills passed and the US government clicking. Somehow we feel / hope that lack of experience may actually work to his advantage. He would bring new ideas to a system that is clearly broken rather than simply work within it. The advancements from MS-Dos all the way to Windows XP are living proof he can make positive changes happen.
No Mac comments please. Steve Jobs is no longer with us and Ashton Kutcher acting in his role ain't gonna cut it.
As an experiment I ran a couple of quick polls on my @humplik Twitter feed this week to validate our Bill Gates for President idea. To be quite honest I wasn't surprised at all by the voting results.
In the first poll my question was ‘ If the US presidential election was between Hillary Clinton and Bill Gates who would you vote for?’. The results were impressive for Billy Boy. He garnered 80% of the vote to Hillary’s 20%.
In the second poll my question was ‘ If the US presidential election was between Donald Trump and Bill Gates who would you vote for?’. The results were even more impressive for the Operating system overlord. He garnered 91% of the vote to Trump’s 9%. As I read the results I regained some of the hope I've lost in humans lately.
If everything goes according to plan the United States will elect yet another corporate CEO this November. Like her recent successors these past 30 years she will be controlled by an endless supply of corporate members of the board. Corporate control of the United States will continue as its roots continue to dig deeper into the land of the ‘free’.
In a democratic world there is always hope the wrongs can be rectified. I may be delusional but I like to think there is still enough hope out there that hasn't been bought up to the highest corporate bidder.
So here's hoping things turn around for my friends down south. In four years from now the people of the United States will have another chance to turn around their current corporate run ship. The time to get that ball rolling is now.
We realize Bill Gates has publicly come out and said he has no desire to run for president. Mostly because he feels he can accomplish more with his foundation that he could as president. Unfortunately that's likely the truth. But, If we all collectively start begging him via Skype (now a Microsoft product) he may be forced to reconsider his position.
In 2020, we say Bill Gates for president.
As for us it's time to round up our bartender for another round of drinks. We have way more shit to fix.